My husband Shawn actually was the one who brought this to my attention, He said, “That is so great that now you are blogging! Everyone gets to see you spiritually naked as they read about your prayer life.” “AAAAAHHHHHHHH!” No other words can describe how I felt. A friend was sharing with me that she read the blog so far and it was what people needed, something tangible and honest about prayer, something specific. I told her that it was so embarrassing that she read the blog. I shared how I am scared everyday of this prayer ministry thing. I shared that I have this very real fear of man. I am always thinking, “What will others think of me if I say or do this? I am not as spiritual or as qualified as they are. I need to learn from them, who am I? I’m no one. Please make me invisible God, don’t tell me I have to get on stage and speak about what is going on with prayer AGAIN!!” But I also have this very real fear of God that is greater than the fear of man so I force myself to be obedient. I know 1st hand of what it feels like to put yourself out there, of how nonspiritual you really are in your walk with God. Like when my relationship is slipping with God and needs to be more, that I need to make more time for intimacy with Him, I need to include Him in everything, that I left Him out and was of in the midst of ungodliness… then He reminds me that He is still there and He wants to be included in everything.
That is why it is so important for you who are reading this and doing these prayer challenges to share your testimony so we can learn from How God spoke to you and used you. I am only 1 person, Carrie is only 1 person, but it takes everyone working together for the advancement of His Kingdom to make a difference.
It makes me sick to my stomach to step out and “take off my fig leaf” (another Shawnism) while writing this blog entry, but why do I do it? I am scared every step of the way. If it was up to me I would not even do this blog at all, it is way out of my comfort zone. My friend said that people need to hear about the insecurities of prayer and how we let God lead us…I’ve heard God speak many things to me many different ways. God 1st started speaking to me about this blog through our Elder and Webmaster Paul McKrickard. I did not even realize it was God. I was putting things together for the Prayer Ministry for Paul to add to the FLC Website and I asked him a long time ago to add a web page for testimonies. I thought that we all need to hear testimonies; that it is through testimonies that inspire me so I am sure it will be of great value to others. Paul suggested we get a blog going for this. Then we could update it at our leisure and add testimonies as often as we wanted as I was also concerned about the extra work it would add to his busy schedule. This was probably about 1 year ago. I added the blog suggestion to a list of ideas of things to do in the future for the prayer ministry but never gave it much more thought.
Recently this blog thought kept coming back. It was getting to be like the only thought that kept coming to my brain. It was hounding me day and night and when I would try to think about something else, the thought would turn back to this blog. SO I said okay God, I know this is you telling me this is what I need to focus on next and at our last meeting we really discussed it. I was also thinking about a way of equipping others through some sort of ongoing school of prayer where we allowed opportunity for people to take immediate action to get results in prayer. (I am a very take action/get results oriented person). I was also thinking that we both need to share personal experiences (very real) of specifically how our prayer lives take form. I am probably not a great example but I thought to myself that if we put it out there, others will not be afraid to put their testimonies out there. We must lead by example.These ideas were rolling around in my head for some time. Carrie & I meet on a monthly basis and hash out written goals for the prayer ministry and what we will focus on each month. So at our last meeting Carrie & I were discussing the blog, we put the 2 together and thought, "Wow!" We got super excited and were coming up with other ideas about the blog and how it can really be a great tool to use for prayer!!! I thanked Paul for suggesting the blog and told him that God used him and how excited we were about it as I asked him to link it to FLC web page after 1st sharing the vision getting the okay from Pastor Freddy.
“Don’t be scared, just give us your testimony” How is God speaking to you? prayer@freedomlifechurch.com
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